Feeling Stuck? The Signs of Career Stagnation at 35 (UK Edition)
- 3 hours ago
- 16 min read
The signs of career stagnation at 35 are feeling bored every day, no longer finding work challenges interesting, living for the weekend, going through the motions at work, and feeling that your salary is no longer enough to justify how you feel. And if that's made you sit up and take notice - good! You're not here on the planet to drag out your hours at a job you no longer love. Read on for a full breakdown of these signs of career stagnation, why it happens in your 30s, and practical advice to get unstuck.
Plus, bonus British problems!
What Is Career Stagnation?
Career stagnation is when your previously exciting and driven career slows down, gets boring, or comes to a halt completely.
i.e. every day at work you feel you're wading through a stinky swamp and there are alligators everywhere 🐊
Imagine it like this: you dive into a beautiful lake. The water is crystal clear, cool and inviting. Except halfway in, when the water has reached your waist, it starts getting harder to move. The bottom of the lake is thick and sticky with silt, there are weeds and algae slowing you down, and the water itself feels like treacle.
What seemed cool and inviting when you were standing on the bank, dipping your toes in, now feels difficult, tiring and much less appealing.
This is what career stagnation feels like. The career that previously looked cool and inviting and even refreshing eventually ends up becoming difficult and tiring. You’re wading through a swamp, unable to get out easily but also unsure of how to move forward.
You are stuck - but why?
Why Does Career Stagnation Happen In Your 30s?
Career stagnation happens in your 30s because you’re past the enthusiasm and energy of progression in your twenties, and not sure yet if you want to commit to the long haul in your forties.
Essentially, you're in the sticky middle bit of professional life where you're past the naivete of youth but not quite at the wisdom of being an 'elder'. The vibe is best summed up by Britney's "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" (although I feel like that song might be a bit contextually problematic now?? Anyway ... )
As a former university tutor, I've seen exactly what happens when it comes to work in your 20s.
At the start of the decade, you graduate university, apply for a good job, and then get your head down to focus on climbing the corporate ladder. Often the role shoves you into completely different environments to ones that you’ve been in before: fast-paced, exciting, with opportunities for progression and waaaay more money than you’ve ever seen in your life. This makes these roles very appealing for a 20 year old with bags of energy who wants to work hard and play harder.
Then, by the time you’re 35 you'll probably have been working in the same industry, doing increasingly more senior roles, for over a decade. You hit your 30s and all that excitement of the last 10 years suddenly catches up with you - emotionally, mentally and, yes, physically. Your thirties is an era of realising you can't eat what you want, drink what you want, and still wake up feeling fresh as a daisy. Nor can you subject your mind and feelings to stress all day every day and think you'll be fine.
Now, you’re more senior, with more responsibility, and you start looking ahead to your 40s, asking yourself: “Do I really want to be doing this for the next 10 years?”. What felt like a fresh and exciting career at 21 now feels tiring, boring, or just not that interesting any more.
So how do you know that your career is definitely getting a bit swamp=like? There are five signs to look out for.
What Are The Signs Of Career Stagnation?
You’re bored every day at work, consistently and repeatedly
You no longer find work challenges interesting
You're living for the weekend and your vacations
You’re going through the motions at work, giving 50% rather than 100%
Your salary no longer feels like enough to justify how you are feeling
You Feel Bored Every Day
A guaranteed sign of career stagnation is that you feel bored every day at work. Now, everyone feels bored sometimes in their job – even in my work as an inspirational speaker, there are elements of the job that aren’t as exciting as the rest. (Venue liaison gets me so frustrated. I really do not need a six-chain email just to find out whether I need to bring an HDMI cable or not, y'know?)
But if you are regularly and frequently bored in your day-to-day work then you are very likely experiencing career stagnation. And the risk is if you don't do something about the boredom, it can soon turn to apathy. And when you're a bit more senior, with clients or teams to manage, apathy isn't just a 'you' problem - it's a 'lots of people' problem.
I truly believe boredom is a very powerful and useful emotion. Lots of success coaching clients come to me in the first instance because they are bored of what they are doing. Not unhappy, not depressed, but bored. And it's because we’re not designed for boredom! We’re designed to have new experiences, to expand our minds, to maximise our talents and do interesting things with our lives! Boredom is the sign that we are like a lion trapped in a cage at the zoo, when really, we should be roaming the savannah 🦁
Work Challenges Aren’t Interesting Any More
Another sign of career stagnation is that the challenges you faced at work in your twenties no longer interest you. Whether it's the challenge of learning a new process, developing a skill, working out how to speak to senior leaders, pitching to a client - even the challenge of knowing how to handle your salary each month - early on in your career these are actually quite interesting. At the time you may have just felt terrified ("What am I going to say in the Q3 sales meeting?! 😨) but looking back you can probably see how you grew, changed, evolved from these interesting experiences.
But if your career is stagnating, then whatever the challenge, you no longer find it interesting – it simply doesn’t intrigue or engage your curiosity like it used to. There's no energy there, either because you feel you know all there is to know or you just aren't bothered about it (see sign #1).
This isn't to say you aren’t finding work challenges exciting any more. They probably do still feel 'exciting' aka stressful, nerve-wracking, and emotionally activating. But that's not the same as being interested or actually caring about the result of that challenge.
Imagine during your working day you get an email from a client who is absolutely fuming about something that’s gone wrong – maybe they can’t access a file or a deliverable hasn’t arrived on time. Your stress response is going to automatically kick in, as it is designed to, and that email might feel 'exciting' aka incredibly stressful.
However, if you check in with yourself underneath the excitement, I bet you a fiver you won't actually be interested in the content or result of that challenge. You don't give a damn about the client, or the file, or the deliverable. It’s just your nervous system responding to a perceived threat.
This is a very important distinction to be aware of. As a trauma-informed coach I have seen many times how people stay in jobs even as their career completely stagnates for one unhappy reason: their nervous system is addicted to the ‘excitement’ of these daily stress-inducing challenges, and being content, curious and calm feels 'wrong' to them.
You’re Living For The Weekend
A classic sign of career stagnation is that you are living for the weekend. I mean, who doesn't know this feeling? Constantly counting down the hours until it’s the end of the day, talking about how you can’t wait until Friday rolls around - and of course feeling the ‘Sunday scaries’ at the end of the weekend.
There’s a big difference between healthy work-life balance and living for the weekend. When you have a work-life balance in your 30s - like an actual effective distribution of your time and energy between your day job and all the other important factors of your life like friends, partners, hobbies, exercise, etc. - then every aspect of your life feels pleasurable. Interesting. Stimulating. You aren't sitting in the sauna thinking about work, and neither are you sitting at work thinking about the sauna. You're just enjoying what you're doing for what it is.
On the other hand, when you're living for the weekend you're always thinking about the weekend. Or your holidays. Or 6pm and the pub. Life is a rollercoaster (and not in like a fun jazzy way a la Ronan Keating): your weekend is jammed to the brim with socialising and 'rotting' and life admin, your weeknights are similarly filled with wine and takeaway and events and classes, and you are doing everything in your power to ignore the middle bit - the 8 hours in between where you have to do the worst thing imaginable: go to work.
You Go Through The Motions At Work And No-One Seems To Notice
One sign of career stagnation is that you are simply going through the motions at work, doing the bare minimum, and no-one seems to notice. I think this can be one of the most painful signs of career stagnation, because it feels like a waste: a waste of your brain, your time, your energy - even a waste of the company’s money, although frankly we're all less concerned about that.
Everyone wants to feel satisfied with the work they do. They want to feel like they're contributing something, that their skills are valued and used for some meaningful outcome - to the point where 9 out of 10 people are willing to trade in some of their lifetime earnings for greater meaning at work.
But when your career is stagnating, it feels like there is no incentive for you to pour more of yourself into your work to find that meaning or satisfaction. You literally don't have the energy to do that, at least not like you did in your 20s, and after a decade of grinding with not much to show you start to question why you should bother at all.
It can feel extremely disheartening to realise that you just don’t need to put that much effort in to do your job, and even more painful to realise that no-one notices whether you put in 100% or 50%. After spending your twenties dedicating so much time and energy to your career progression, when you realise you could’ve chilled out a bit and you would still probably be in the exact same position - boy howdy, that can hurt.
Your Salary And Pay Rises No Longer Feel Like Enough
The final guaranteed sign of career stagnation is that your salary and accompanying pay rises no longer feel metaphorically ‘enough’ for you to justify doing the job. While they may be financially 'enough' to pay for living expenses, gym membership, Friday night curry, etc. your salary and pay rises do not feel emotionally, psychologically, creatively, or spiritually adequate.
When you embark on your career in your 20s, you may have more money thrown at you each month than you've ever seen in your life. The excitement of the new role plus feeling a bit flush is enough to override any discomfort you might feel about the job (or the company, or your colleagues). With each pay rise, you upgrade your lifestyle, and it's fun and thrilling and feels good.
And we tend to assume higher pay equals greater happiness, so that should all be fine, right? Empirical results suggest otherwise.
A happiness and work study from Wharton found that “people with larger personal incomes were happier during virtually every activity except work” which was the single activity the participants reported doing most often and for the activity which higher earners spent more time doing. So with a higher salary in your 30s, you're happier with the fact you get to spend it - but how you are earning it has not changed, has not made you happier, and now you're actually doing it for longer.
F**k's sake.
Then things start to stagnate. They slow down. You're 10 years in and you realise something about your salary: it's actually just a bet.
The bet is your salary vs your time, emotional wellbeing, autonomy, sense of purpose, etc.
And the bet goes something like this: "How much unhappiness, bored or dissatisfaction am I willing to tolerate for this salary? For a £20,000 pay rise? For another Q4 bonus?"
In your thirties, the odds on that bet just ... don't seem that good any more. You look at your salary, your pay rises, your bonuses, asking yourself "How much would it take for me to be bored every day? To stay unsatisfied?", and the answer becomes "Not that. It's not enough."
Bonus Problems for Brits: How Is Career Stagnation Different In The UK?
Career stagnation is different in the UK compared to other countries because our culture combines a fear of arrogance with a strong focus on individual career achievement and satisfaction. Yes, if you're in your 30s, in corporate, and have been raised in the British education or social system, career stagnation takes on a particularly frustrating flavour.
That's because of two cultural factors:
Our fear of arrogance, which gets in the way of self-promotion, vocalising opinions, and being seem as 'leadership material'
Our societal focus on hyper-individualised career success that equates our sense of self with what we do for work
Sigh - here's a breakdown.
Why Do UK Professionals Struggle To Self-Promote At Work?
UK professionals struggle to self-promote at work because we’re taught to be polite, quiet, not make a fuss and definitely not to ‘show off’ about our skills and talents.
As a success coach, I’ve worked with a lot of people who have had the same experience here in the UK. They were taught to keep their head down, don’t make a scene, and don’t put themselves forward – all because we think it means someone is arrogant or ‘too big for their boots’.
Because of this cultural norm, in your twenties you can actually succeed at work by just getting on with things and ‘being a good worker’, rather than tooting your own horn. You probably even had a manager (or several) tell you the exact same thing.
However, when you reach a certain level of seniority in your 30s, you can’t behave like that any more. The culturally-ingrained fear of arrogance stops you from speaking up, sharing opinions, and being really clear on your strengths, which means leadership positions start feeling distant and even unpleasant, leading to a feeling of stagnation.
All because we're told not to be a 'show off' 🤬
Why Does Career Stagnation Feel Worse In The UK?
Career stagnation can feel worse in the UK because our culture places strong emphasis on individual career achievement and satisfaction as a reflection of personal identity.
We're all taught at school that work is important, that we need to get a 'good job' and that work should be satisfying and pleasing to we as unique individuals. What we aren't taught is how much we culturally rely on a job as a way to separate people out into morally superior and inferior, well as intelligent, less intelligent, worthy, less worthy, etc. I mean, if there are 'good jobs' then doesn't that mean there are 'bad jobs'? Hmm ...
Work is seen as a path to self-actualisation and as a direct expression of your identity - which means that when your career starts stagnating, it might hit you a lot harder than a colleague in another part of the world. Europe, for example, where there is a stronger focus on work-life balance, or countries with collectivist cultures (like some of those in Asia) where your career is about reflecting and contributing to your family unit, not just you.
So, what are you going to do about it?
How To Get Out Of A Career Rut In Your 30s
Audit your transferable skills. An extremely effective and quick exercise which reminds you that you are not, in fact, stuck but are an incredibly talented individual who has a lot going for them, Ignore the job role and company, and instead look at the core skills you have developed that you could apply to any working situation. Don’t forget ‘soft’ skills like communication and interpersonal abilities are some of the most crucial ones to have.
Revisit your personal passions. After a decade of focusing on your career, your hobbies have fallen by the wayside. Remember when you used to love crochet? And reading sci-fi books? Or going to LARP meet ups in the middle of Epping Forest? Heady days, my friend. Revisit interests you had as a teenager or at university by attending group meet ups, using YouTube to teach yourself a skill, or browsing your local library (yes, they still exist!).
Start building an ‘options fund’. Before I quit corporate life, I saved up three months of expenses in an ‘options fund’ so that I could make a clear decision about what I wanted to do next, rather than panic and accept whatever job I was offered because I was worried about money. Saving can be hard but it doesn't have to start massive - just start. It proves to yourself that you are committed to getting out of this career rut rather than living for the weekend (and spending most of your salary in the process 😬).
Go on a professional retreat. Too often we think we've got to figure out the next step all by ourselves. It's that hyper-individualistic British cultural factor combined with embarrassment at asking for help (or in fact anything at all). Going on a professional retreat led by an experienced facilitator will allow you to sort out what you need to do in a friendly, structured environment - rather than listening to yet another self-help book that's not going to actually help you do anything. My Wild Success two-day events are designed specifically to guide you into finding your career purpose and make a concrete plan for the following 90 days. Learn more and join us at the next one of these personal development events.
Take a focused break. Taking time out from work helps you reset and decide what to do without being suffocated by the pressures of the job. Taking a ‘sabbatical’ is a great option – although these tend to be longer e.g. several months and less easy to request. They can also result in definitely quitting your job (exactly what I did in the three months before I left corporate, whoops). But even taking a few days off to focus on yourself, rather than socialise or catching up with life admin, can help.
Frequently Asked Questions: Life Challenges In Your 30s
How do I balance my career and wanting a family at 35?
You can balance your career and wanting a family in your 30s by focusing on the overall lifestyle you want for you and your future children. This is a topic that hits particularly hard for women and AFAB people who feel under pressure in their 30s to have kids, but worry about leaving their career and missing out on opportunities.
It’s important to remember that life is not all about work or all about family; it’s about the whole package. Considering the life you want for you and your future children can help you make the right decisions now: do you want them to have a parent who is always stressed about work, or a parent who is a great role model of doing work you love? I know which one I would've liked when I was a kid.
Why have I lost motivation in my 30s?
People often lose motivation in their 30s because what they had focused on for so long in their twenties no longer feels fresh or exciting. That could be a career, a family, travel, or education. You’re at that in-between stage of knowing quite a lot about your industry or role, but not yet stepping up into the full ‘wise elder’ status that happens in your forties.
A good analogy for this is your undergrad degree:
First year is your twenties: it’s exciting, new, loads to learn, all a bit hectic but fun and way too many shots 🤢
Third year is your forties: you know your stuff, you’ve got your dissertation aka legacy to create, and you’re setting yourself up for the rest of your life
Your thirties is second year: suddenly realising that this all means something, that you need to make real choices, that you can’t just f**k about and find out any more
And as a former university lecturer, I can tell you this: I saw over and over how second year was the year when students would freak out, have a meltdown, fall sick, reinvent themselves, etc. There's just something about the sticky middle bit that is really hard.
Why am I having a spiritual awakening in my 30s?
You’re having a spiritual awakening, breakthrough, or transformation in your 30s because you’re ready for it, you have something important to do in your life, and you’ve reached a point of material success. Didn't think you were going to see this topic in an article on career stagnation, did you? Nope, but it's all connected.
Traditionally, mid-life (aka your forties) was when people tended to have spiritual awakenings, breakthroughs, or the classic ‘mid-life crisis’. Social media has also popularised the idea of the quarter-life crisis (although frankly if people in their 20s now are anything like I was in my 20s, every sodding year felt like a 'quarter-life crisis'. Exhausting 😴). But from my work as a success coach and spiritual investigator, I’ve noticed that your 30s are the new crisis point where spiritual awakening takes place.
We're living in a time where material success is seen as more fragile and unequal than ever. Overall, our quality of material life has improved: access to food, water, housing, and the pleasures of life are easier than ever. And yet people still cannot access it, when they do it's expensive compared to the salaries most earn, and even if you work hard, get a good job, make lots of money, and ‘progress’ – you’re still not guaranteed happiness!
For previous generations, the spiritual awakening process may have taken longer because it took longer to experience such rich material benefits. Now, because we experience so many of those earlier in life, we therefore experience dissatisfaction earlier too.
If this is happening to you, it’s because you’ve probably reached a point of material success and found that your career is stagnating or disappointing. Material success no longer feels ‘enough', and the only way you've found that out is to actually achieve the material success you've been focused on.
You're also likely to have something important to do in your life – something which is going to take many years to develop and refine, such as a body of work, a great contribution to society, or a legacy to build. This means you need to get started sooner, rather than later, and you are being called to do so. The Universe needs you to step into 'wise elder' mode pronto, and is sending you all the signs to do so.
Ultimate, you’re having a spiritual awakening because you’ve gone through the necessary stages – and now you’re ready to become something more. Something wildly successful, perhaps? You bet!
About The Author
Astra is an inspirational speaker and writer leading experienced professionals to wild, untamed success.
Astra's unique insight is based on 10,000+ hours studying purpose, meaning and the human condition. Their study has led to over 2,000 hours teaching, coaching and facilitating, plus published writing, keynotes and conferences, peer-reviewed research, digital content and working with 60+ brands as a communication professional - as well as living on a commune, in a warehouse, and with the Hare Krishna monks.
Through their Wild Success methodology, Astra teaches talented professionals how to find their purpose, take consistent action, and finally start experiencing the wild success they are destined for: not 'next year', not 'some day', but now.
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